“I’ve stopped being sorry for all my soft. I won’t apologize because I miss you, or because I said it, or because I text you first, or again. I think everyone spends too much time trying to close themselves off. I don’t want to be cool or indifferent, I want to be honest.”
I don’t want to look back in five years time and think, ‘We could have been magnificent, but I was afraid.’ In 5 years I want to tell of how fear tried to cheat me out of the best thing in life, and I didn’t let it.
“I was twenty-one at the time, about to turn twenty-two. No prospect of graduating soon, and yet no reason to quit school. Caught in the most curiously depressing circumstances. For months I’d been stuck, unable to take one step in any new direction. The world kept moving on; I alone was at a standstill. In the autumn, everything took a desolate cast, the colors swiftly fading before my eyes. The sunlight, the smell of the grass, the faintest patter of rain, everything got on my nerves. How many times did I dream of catching a train at night?”
"All good writing is swimming under water and holding your breath." - F. Scott Fitzgerald
I have not been writing truthfully. There are things I have not allowed myself to admit. I must tell the truth because that is where the juice is. The good writing is in the truth. The real truth. And the…
"…God took the stars and he tossed them, can’t tell the birds from the blossoms, you’ll never be free of me. Don’t say good bye to me, describe the sky to me, and if the sky falls, mark my words, we’ll catch mockingbirds…” (x)
You are allowed to grieve the years you lost to mental illness. You’re allowed to be mad that it happened to you. You’re allowed to pine after the person you might have been had it been different. But don’t let that get in the way of your growing into your new self and following a wholly new path for your life.
In the late 1960’s, photographer Arthur Tress began a series of photographs that were inspired by the dreams of children. Tress had each child he approached tell him about a prominent dream of theirs which Tress would then artistically re-create and photograph with the child as the main subject.
“Six mistakes mankind keeps making century after century:
Believing that personal gain is made by crushing others;
Worrying about things that cannot be changed or corrected;
Insisting that a thing is impossible because we cannot accomplish it;
Refusing to set aside trivial preferences;
Neglecting development and refinement of the mind;
Attempting to compel others to believe and live as we do.”
“I’m trying to be on my best behavior, but you have to understand— I’m always standing on the edge of something bad. And sometimes someone like you can make me look the other way, so that I don’t know how close I am to falling over. But I always end up turning my head. Always. I always walk off that edge. And it’s shit I deal with every day, and it’s shit that’s not going away any time soon.”
— Will Grayson, Will Grayson (David Levithan and John Green)